No We cant

I have been hearing some good things lately...Things like I have a "good voice"(yea...they said that before they rejected me in WTMS), that I write well(Kalyan gets depressed after reading my blogs), that I have good cinematic sense (I am the new Spot boy of 2.2 Productions), that I am not at all a flirt (before Nupur and Swaty told me I am girly, so obviously no interest in girls makes me bla bla bla), that a TA flirted with me in second year and I didnt know it( apparently throwing chalks at a student whose not listening is a way of flirting)....

So now that I am officially the most vela person in Kgp, I have finally decided to do something meaningful. Yes, my fans out there, I am writing a book..The book would be an anti Shiv Khera, anti Obama(yes we can, audacity of hope, bull's smelly shit, etc), anti- every hope prophet ever born in this freaking world.It would do something that I specialize in, ie. depressing everyone , telling them stories of the doomsday,of how positive thinking never works and surprisingly negativity always does. I'll give you a sneak-peak into the book in this post and what negativity helps in achieving everything....

1. Afterdeath crappy story:
No religion in this world has ever been sure of what exactly happens after death. Some throw some crap that hits the fan, about heaven and hell. Oh yea,let me give you a very simple examples.
a. On earth, we have a total population of about 6 crores.And I am assuming that about 6 crore deaths must have happened by now. SO the question is how will all these 12 crore people be housed in heaven or hell??? As in , is heaven a self expanding destination???
b. Every religion has a different take on life after death. Christians say , there'll be some Saint at the gate to heaven, who'll check out our account and decide if we get to enter heaven. Hindus do not have this system. We have our own crappy take. for more info call Dushyant, this guy knows a helluva lot about hindu religion and stuff..This guy has compelled me to watch mahabharat and krishna...so I am guessing he is the hindu saint of the 21st century...so do they have a separate entry for people belonging to each religion....If yes, then let us make our own religion. in this way we will ensure an entry to our own heaven....Fundooo.

2. Negativity:
Read this in one self help book recently..."That do not think negative and do not think in terms of future. Imagine that, you already have what you are aiming at."....Damn you and every bastard who wrote that crap....If negativity makes negative things happen, lets all aim at stuff opposite to what we really want. For eg. If you want to clear JEE, aim at not clearing JEE and then think negative....FUNDOOO

3.Success is an coincidental, failure is by-default:
Ever read any loser writing about how lucky he got on his way to becoming a loser???..It just happened to him, when success didnt happen to him.Man, am I confusing you??...Ok heres the thing...Successful people always will cite examples when they got lucky and made it big..failures, didnt, and became losers by-default. So, irrespective of your work, when it comes down to it, it was always the luck and the co-incidences that made a success story and the opposite.

Enough, or my publisher would get angry...For more check out the book when its released...for more info , just dial--- SHUT UP

Flagged....

Delhi is a city of cons...Recently I saw this film called 99, which presented the stereotypes of Delhi in a comic way..Things like every girl in Delhi is either Pooja or Neha, things about "Dailli Maitro"...about the cons.I had been conned so many times in just one month there.They arent like the goons in Bihar ,where they'll kill you if you dont give them money and/or your belongings,they are more sophisticated, and have really worked on their skills.

While doing this internship in ESPN in Delhi, I went home on a weekend to Allahabad.Had a nice stay there.This incident happened after I reached Delhi.

At New Delhi Railway Station, I was waiting in my auto for the driver to come back..Thats when this old lady , decently dressed in a salwar suit came to me.She stared at me and I smiled back. She came forward ,took a pin and a small paper with the tricolour printed on it and stuck it on my shirt.I was like, " Is it the Independence day, already??"....I didnt know why she did that..Then she said ,"Bete....Hum garib anaath bacchon ke liye yeh anaathaalay banaa rahe hai, uske liye chanda collect karna hai...Kuch paise do aur desh ki seva karo".

I have been fooled before in this city of cons.So I started thinking of reasons why I cant give her money. Then I finally said," Aunty khulle nahi hai"....She replied,"Main deti hoon na".....I thought ,I can afford ten rupees for sure...So I gave a fifty rupee note and asked for 40 rupees....

She said ," Thank you bete"......................And left....And yes i didnt get the 40 bucks back