Dis-placed

So, the placement season is on and I do not have any interview calls so far and I have already finished 2 series and 5 movies. So what the heck, lets blog aye!!!

So, the institute is full of palpable excitement. 96placed on day 1, 4 in facebook, so many in google, so on so forth, and I have not even left my room in formals yet . Times like these make you appreciate communism and if you have had an upbringing like mine , then religious communism ... oxymoron huh?? Kind of.

Times like these make you reminisce about the good old days when you were the topper in your class and everyone envied your "rocket brains" . And the wrong choices that you made and times you chose booze over work, friends over books, pursuing love interests over academics. In my case, even choosing BT in IIT Kgp over CS in BITS, Pilani . But , after reading some Paulo Coelho and all the philosophical bullshit, realized that the past needs to be let go and the future needs to pursued. Woah!!! 1 day of placement and I already made a oneliner, philosophical one at that.

Had a chat with some B. Techs who graduated last year. The ones with good jobs said, their job sucks so I am better off and the one with the mediocre ones said and I quote, " In you face loser".

After one of the shortlists were out, and as usual my name did not figure in it, I went out for a smoke, cursing every moment of my 5 years here, blaming God for not getting me placed, Kalyan for being so happy that I am not getting placed, blaming God for making me friends with him, for gaining weight , receding hairline, blaming God for my genes, etc etc , and then I saw this guy on a hand peddled cycle, peddling hard, struggling to get somewhere but still peddling his hearts out and I thought, "Wait a second, what was I thinking. Thanks God for what I have and for what I will achieve in the future".

Good ol' life, you can be down and out one second and Boom you're back . Adversities are a good thing you know, makes you appreciate things better. Woah!!! and there goes my second oneliner of the day. Am I on fire or what??

For those of you who thought " Jeez what a loser" , well!!! no problemo mate, beacuse for the first time in my life, I am at peace.

Someplace else!!!

I remember ,in class 11th ,I used to listen to Backstreet Boys and thought, MAN ITS SO COOL!!!!

Then a dude came up to me and gave me some shit about rock and about how people in Metros listen to Limp Bizkits, Metallica, and the likes. I didnt give it a damn, coz' I was too busy with my acads anyways.

In IIT ,I for the first time listened to rock and it was a whole new world of music. From the world of swaying your hands I was into the world of head banging. Met a guy called kalyan , who like me thought Backstreet Boys was the epitome of western music.

Today ,3 years later, I have atleast 3 favourites in every genre of Western music. I am sure I can give that dude a run for his money. Kalyan and I in our Uddu and Bong accents repectively, listen to and sing along songs from all genres. I still dont think ,Metallica and the other bands are the types I will listen to when I am low, but I have my own favourites . I still dont think Backstreet Boys is UNCOOL .

End of 5th semester. Anutosh, Kalyan's roomie , got us registered in an Open Mic at Someplace Else, famous live music bar at The Park. Somnath, Kalyan's other roomie wanted to finally perform on stage. So we jammed for two hours or so and next day we were in calcutta. We were not going to do the "dude" music with shrieking vocals, shredding guitars and insane drumming. I have had enough of that crap anyways . The other guys agreed.

I will follow you into the dark, Aicha and Falling slowly....three amazing unplugged numbers.

When we heard the first band, which I though was pretty ok, the host, got up and gave them a 5 minute lecture about how big a thing Someplace Else is and asked them to end their act. DAMN!! HEZ RUDE....For a moment I felt like leaving the place asap.

Our slot was 14 and we got our chance after 12 am. The first song went okay-ish ,the tempo was more than the actual thingy. Kalyan does this when he is nervous.

Then Anutosh announced, we are from KGP and we've come all the way from Kharagpur for this Open Mic. The host ,Neel Adhikari, was so touched (or maybe it was the booze that was talking), that he asked everyone to shut up and listen to us .Sympathy sakes everyone was quiet. Enter Aicha. It was magical. Kalyan pulled off a 2 minute solo with Somnath playing the rhythm. A two minute applause followed.

This is what dreams are made of I guess.

PS: To the head banging dudes, Please stop listening to a particular music cause its coool, for a change listen to it for ,errr .......well the music itself.

No We cant

I have been hearing some good things lately...Things like I have a "good voice"(yea...they said that before they rejected me in WTMS), that I write well(Kalyan gets depressed after reading my blogs), that I have good cinematic sense (I am the new Spot boy of 2.2 Productions), that I am not at all a flirt (before Nupur and Swaty told me I am girly, so obviously no interest in girls makes me bla bla bla), that a TA flirted with me in second year and I didnt know it( apparently throwing chalks at a student whose not listening is a way of flirting)....

So now that I am officially the most vela person in Kgp, I have finally decided to do something meaningful. Yes, my fans out there, I am writing a book..The book would be an anti Shiv Khera, anti Obama(yes we can, audacity of hope, bull's smelly shit, etc), anti- every hope prophet ever born in this freaking world.It would do something that I specialize in, ie. depressing everyone , telling them stories of the doomsday,of how positive thinking never works and surprisingly negativity always does. I'll give you a sneak-peak into the book in this post and what negativity helps in achieving everything....

1. Afterdeath crappy story:
No religion in this world has ever been sure of what exactly happens after death. Some throw some crap that hits the fan, about heaven and hell. Oh yea,let me give you a very simple examples.
a. On earth, we have a total population of about 6 crores.And I am assuming that about 6 crore deaths must have happened by now. SO the question is how will all these 12 crore people be housed in heaven or hell??? As in , is heaven a self expanding destination???
b. Every religion has a different take on life after death. Christians say , there'll be some Saint at the gate to heaven, who'll check out our account and decide if we get to enter heaven. Hindus do not have this system. We have our own crappy take. for more info call Dushyant, this guy knows a helluva lot about hindu religion and stuff..This guy has compelled me to watch mahabharat and krishna...so I am guessing he is the hindu saint of the 21st century...so do they have a separate entry for people belonging to each religion....If yes, then let us make our own religion. in this way we will ensure an entry to our own heaven....Fundooo.

2. Negativity:
Read this in one self help book recently..."That do not think negative and do not think in terms of future. Imagine that, you already have what you are aiming at."....Damn you and every bastard who wrote that crap....If negativity makes negative things happen, lets all aim at stuff opposite to what we really want. For eg. If you want to clear JEE, aim at not clearing JEE and then think negative....FUNDOOO

3.Success is an coincidental, failure is by-default:
Ever read any loser writing about how lucky he got on his way to becoming a loser???..It just happened to him, when success didnt happen to him.Man, am I confusing you??...Ok heres the thing...Successful people always will cite examples when they got lucky and made it big..failures, didnt, and became losers by-default. So, irrespective of your work, when it comes down to it, it was always the luck and the co-incidences that made a success story and the opposite.

Enough, or my publisher would get angry...For more check out the book when its released...for more info , just dial--- SHUT UP

Flagged....

Delhi is a city of cons...Recently I saw this film called 99, which presented the stereotypes of Delhi in a comic way..Things like every girl in Delhi is either Pooja or Neha, things about "Dailli Maitro"...about the cons.I had been conned so many times in just one month there.They arent like the goons in Bihar ,where they'll kill you if you dont give them money and/or your belongings,they are more sophisticated, and have really worked on their skills.

While doing this internship in ESPN in Delhi, I went home on a weekend to Allahabad.Had a nice stay there.This incident happened after I reached Delhi.

At New Delhi Railway Station, I was waiting in my auto for the driver to come back..Thats when this old lady , decently dressed in a salwar suit came to me.She stared at me and I smiled back. She came forward ,took a pin and a small paper with the tricolour printed on it and stuck it on my shirt.I was like, " Is it the Independence day, already??"....I didnt know why she did that..Then she said ,"Bete....Hum garib anaath bacchon ke liye yeh anaathaalay banaa rahe hai, uske liye chanda collect karna hai...Kuch paise do aur desh ki seva karo".

I have been fooled before in this city of cons.So I started thinking of reasons why I cant give her money. Then I finally said," Aunty khulle nahi hai"....She replied,"Main deti hoon na".....I thought ,I can afford ten rupees for sure...So I gave a fifty rupee note and asked for 40 rupees....

She said ," Thank you bete"......................And left....And yes i didnt get the 40 bucks back

Who says darkness is evil??

There are dudes in Kgp.They come in all shapes and sizes.Some are 9 pointers, some work in a very nice sci-fi project, some are great musicians, some organize fests, etc.Kgp has so many high performing people. When I came here , I desired to be one of the dudes too and that didnt happen. In the second year, my friends and I went to the DFW wing in RP Hall.This wing was famous for its notorious boarders. If you are from Kgp ,you must have heard of the famous brawl at Hotel Park, between waiters and students.Yes, you guessed it right, they were the ones involved. So half scared and half excited we moved to DFW.

These people were academically not that good, were not in any fest's core team, were not involved in any societies, were not musicians.They were nobodies. To add to it , they were drunkards and had a foul temper.DFW happens to have the worst LAN and the electric circuits are screwed up big time too.

So,late at night , our wingie, Abhishek Bera, a bong batchmate who has a very loud personality, did something funny with his multiplug and our wing's electricity was gone.The sight of bright tubelights and revolving fans and the sound of loud music made the situation worse. Everyone came to the corridor and thats when the ice broke.

Darkness brought us so close.From drunkard seniors they became loving "bhaiyyas"...After a point of time we started enjoying this darkness.Who says darkness is evil???

PS: These nobodies were among the first people to get placed this year with awesome pay packages,in times of recession. Academically not-so-good wing , now , boasts of a BLACKI ie, a guy who got a letter from all IIMs.Balls to the dudes.....

Shitticism express-ed

Almost two weeks in Kgp and still nothing to do..I am bored, and as they say "Idle mind, devil's workshop".Kalyan's pathetic 10 line blogs can act as a classroom example for this insightful one -liner.

While pondering about the next three years in this jungle,I thought, " Dude, would I be as useless as ever in these three years or is it time to move on and set examples."....And so with "Dhan te nan" as the background music, I am writing this blog about WHAT I intend to do in the next three years....You guys reading out there, say "Dhan te nan" before reading every point...or better still play the song .......loud.

1. Career

"Tumhaara to CG decreasing trend pe hai jee....eh??"....These famous words were spoken by Prof D Das ,our faculty advisor on seeing my grade card. "Sir is baar SG .06 badhi hai", was my answer.What happened next? He and another girl sitting in the office started laughing, at......ehh....I dont kno, probably some old joke.

So I reached out to my extremely intelligent and academically motivated friends Kalyan and Sumeet(both scored about 6.5 this semester......intelligent people, among the lowest in the dept), and asked them, " How can I improve my CG"...They started laughing at ........eh....... probably some old joke as well.

I reached out to my sister , who after doing maths in 12th , took up English honours because she loved maths too much to take it anymore and asked her," Didi ,maths kaise karoon?,,mere maths mein C se upar aata hi nahi"...She started laughing at .........eh......i guess some old joke as well.

So I thought , let these jokers be at peace with their mediocrity ,I will triumph over them all, I will be invincible,I will rule the world, I will be a 9 pointer, a super student....

hahahahahaha....I am laughing at.....well..... some old joke as well..So you know how ambitious I am for my career.

2.Love Life

My love life SUCKS. Infact I dont even have a love life.Dad said IIT gets you girlfriends.Now he told me ,"Dont watch gay news on TV....are you normal???".....So you know, what happens to a guy who is a doofus with girls. I asked kakima in Delhi to introduce me to a girl in Delhi ,to do something for her nalayak bhatija.She called her niece, said..."Hez in IIT, is not good with girls, is a little reserved and obviously does not dance as well."...hats off to the girl,she didnt hang up. I am trying hard though to spice up my already happening love life. For starters, I am learning "Sudarshan's joke book", by heart. My uncle thinks PJz are "in" with girls these days. I am hanging out with Maulik and Kapil for the same reason now. Ironically, both of them have an equally "happening" love life. Wonder if my uncle is laughing at some old joke now....

3.Music

My mom goes red when I sing-----Red with anger.She says I have a very irritating voice. She calls me ,"Rocky", no ,no, not because I "rock", but because my voice is similar to Silvester Stallone, and when it comes to music ,he is the last guy you would wanna hear. My dad leaves the room when my baritone comes into play. My sister, who is a very good vocalist btw, says she suffers from nausea when she hears my voice.When my band performed , the listeners suffered from loose motions for three days. And yes, this semester I am going to audition for Eastern Technology Music Society (ETMS) and Western Technology Music Society (WTMS) as a vocalist.Oh yes!! I am so excited.

So as you see, I have a very interesting year lined up for me. It has everything a guy looks for. Career, Love and Music.What else? I still dream, hoping to reach the pinnacle someday.No matter how dark ,this day is for me, I hope I'll reach the end of the tunnel.Oh this sento thigy sucks as bad as my love life. Till then ciao..

Me the ROBBER........muhahahahaha

So, another weekend....Was returning from my Mama's place at Midnapore...It was a saturday......Had to attend my NSS class but was kinda hungry.....SO stopped by at Chedis....Odered my fav The lengendary Cheddi Burger....Was hogging the burger when a tall guy in specs turned up and started staring at my burger.....Am not very possesive but when it comes to my burger I am not the one who shares....I stared back at him....

He finally said something....HEY!! WHATS THE PRICE OF THIS?? .........22, I replied........IS IT GOOD????..........U BET,I said....He went inside and ordered a maggi.....An insult to my sacred burger.....

He came back and sat next to me 

The usual chat between an outside student and a regular started....IIT life is good,your LAN speed is nice, Inter hall culture, Rocky's ,Carlo's, Asim's, the places we belonged to,etc.....

Then he asked if he could taste my burger...I was like,WTF.......Anyways, couldnot be so rude and I obliged..

He asked me if I could stay after I was done wid my burger...kinda sounded odd, but I said OK,I'll stay...

He had his maggi and then ordered a burger...I had to leave,had my NSS class......

Halfway through the NSS class........

CRAP,I DIDNT PAY.......TO the man in specs ,I am SORRY....